Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn
What are they and which one are you?
We have all heard the terms fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Perhaps you have heard of all of them or only some. These are different types of stress responses our mind and body go into when there is a perceived threat or danger present.
*Note: Perceived threat because our systems can kick in, even when there is no actual threat present. It only has to be a perceived threat to be considered stressful.
So lets go back to cave man days when we were wrestling tigers and hunting animals for food. Lets pretend you’re out in the jungle, minding your own business and then you hear a rustle behind you. You become stressed; you feel your heart race increases, you feel tense, your palms get sweaty and your pupils dilate. You turn around and right there in front of you is a tiger. You go into survival mode; all your systems shut down and all your energy gears towards your survival system which is programmed to keep you alive.
However, what you do next, depends on how you are wired:
Fight
Ready to attack, you pick up a stick, gearing into action mode and start yelling at the tiger, growling at it and prepare to fight it
This fight response can be characterized by:
- Urge to fight back
- Anger
- Aggression
- Crying
- Yelling
- Adrenaline
- Attack mode
- Irritability
In todays world, this can look like arguing back, action mode or solution mode.
Flight
You are so scared on sight of the tiger, every instinct in your body tells you to run away; as fast as you can.
The flight response can be characterized by:
- Running away
- Hiding
- Feeling tense or trapped
- Restless
- On the move; wanting to walk away or leave
- Fidgety
- Manic
- Highly anxious
In todays world, this can look like walking away, avoidance, ignoring a problem or leaving.
Freeze
You feel frozen with fear, paralysed and immobile; unable to move.
The freeze response can be characterized by:
- Stuck
- Sense of dread
- Speechless
- Stiff
- Heavy
- Cold
- Numb
- Pounding heart
- Immobilized
- Paralysed
- Depression
In todays world, this can look like feeling stuck, blank mind or difficulty concentrating
Fawn
You try to be friends with the tiger, please the tiger and keep the peace so that nothing exacerbates the conflict.
The fawn response can be characterised by:
- Pleasing to avoid conflict
- People pleasing
- Submission to the threat
- Over agreement
- Overly helpful
- Common in people who experience abuse
In todays world, this can look like people pleasing, constantly submitting to authority, lack of boundaries or being easily controlled or easily manipulated.
Most of the time, people have a tendency towards the same type of stress response. However different situations or people can bring out different stress responses too.
These responses have evolved to keep us safe and alive. The key point is that they were originally programmed to escalate when the threat is present and then slowly de-escalate and go back into rest and digest state, as soon as the threat is gone.
So for people who are exposed to chronic abuse or even long term stress, these alarm systems never get a chance to fully switch off. Sometimes they can get stuck and get triggered even when there is no threat or it has passed. The system says well why turn should I turn off if there is repeated stress and I constantly have to be on alert? I’ll just stay like this, all the time.
Its important to realise that your body doesn’t know the difference between a tiger in the jungle, a work email or a stressful thought. A threat is a threat and your body doesn’t discriminate between dangers. All it knows, is that there is a perceived problem and its time to activate the stress response.
However being in a state of fight, flight, freeze or fawn for too long can have significant long term impacts for your physical, mental and emotional well being. Research has shown that exposure to long term or repeated stress can cause or contribute to chronic health issues like heart diseases, autoimmune disease or anxiety disorders, to name a few*
Managing the stress
Allowing yourself to rest, decompress and recharge is critical in maintaining your long term health, mental, physical and emotional well-being. Especially if you lead a fast pace life, high stress job or are constantly feeling like your stuck in FFFF.
You can:
· Recharge: Stop and make the time for things that feel nourishing, restful and recharging
· Daily rituals: Something everyday that helps ground you and bring you back to baseline
· Exercise: Allowing your body to release the stored up energy from being stressed all the time is important, otherwise the anxiety can linger in your body and can build up over time
· Holding space for yourself: If you always give, give, give; try receiving. Get a massage, facial, see a therapist, spiritual reading – whatever holding space means to you. Create a space as often as you can where you can be held and receive what you need to.
Anxiety and stress are apart of our bodies systems to protect us. Feeling these are entirely normal. If you notice however, that the threat is gone and you still find yourself in these states, it might be time to nurture yourself and do what you need to do to bring yourself back to baseline more often.
Resources
*Articles for impact of stress on health
· https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/stress
· https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/stress
· https://www.cbhs.com.au/mind-and-body/blog/stress-and-your-body
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Author: Cody Tonkin